What Do You Want?

You Have Permission to Want

This question was spurred by a conversation I recently had with two of my best friends about something personal.

We were talking about someone we wanted to help, trying to figure out what they really need or want, and I ended up saying...

“They may not even know what they want.”

It’s actually not that common for us to sit and ask ourselves, “What do you want?”

Think about it: have you ever done it? Have you ever actually sat and given yourself the space and the permission to clearly say what you want?

You don't even have to do this with an audience. You don't have to turn in your homework. It’s as simple as taking stock of how long it’s been since you gave yourself permission to want something…if you ever have.

And I don’t mean a casual “Oh, well, this would be nice.” I mean, when was the last time you gave yourself permission to really go after something you wanted, even if it didn’t make “sense” at the time? When was the last time you answered “What do you want?” without piling all those desires under logic and frameworks and reasonableness and guilt until you couldn’t even see the want underneath it all?

We all do this. You may have something you know you want deep down, but you haven't even allowed yourself to fully think it, never mind say it.

We often get into this automatic logic loop where we tell ourselves, “Other people can have that thing, but not you, because of XYZ.”

That reason can be anything. “You're not as smart. You weren't born with money. You didn’t go to college,” etcetera, etcetera.

There are all sorts of things we use to tell ourselves something can’t happen for us because we’re less-than or somehow disadvantaged, therefore we’re not allowed to want it.

I wanted to give this conversation space, because when we’re talking about bookkeeping—and the desire to become a bookkeeper—everything starts with admitting that you want it, and then daring to pursue it.

Here’s Your Homework…

“Wait, Katie, you said I don't have to turn in my homework!” Don’t worry—you don’t! But I didn’t say you don’t have to do your homework.

If you are at a point in your life where you are not fulfilled—if, for whatever reason, you have a voice that is nagging at you, desiring something else—I want you to do this exercise.

This is not the way you're meant to live your life. You're not meant to live your life asking yourself, “What do you want?”, then bullying yourself into believing that you can't have it.

This “What do you want?” exercise could be about anything. I'm guessing that it's going to be about a bookkeeping business if you’re here, but honestly, it could be about absolutely anything.

It could be about any other business. It could be about anything in your life that keeps coming up for you, but you keep shoving it down. Whatever it is, I want you to take the following steps…

Get Honest

I want you to get real honest with yourself about the last time that you sat around and allowed yourself to really, really dream without judgment and without reason.

For example, maybe it was back in your childhood. Make yourself four again; go back to when you could freely and expansively dream with no time limits.

Now, obviously we have time limits as adults. But I promise you’re not too busy for this; the whole exercise will take about five minutes. It’ll take you longer to read this whole post than it will to actually do the exercise.

I want you to get honest with yourself about how long it’s been, because I want you to realize how disconnected you have allowed yourself to get from your dreams. It’s an important—and often sobering—realization.

Write It Down

In step two, I want you to clear a space and write the question down: “What do I want?”

It seems like such a simple question, and the answer should be so easy, because it's your desires for your life. You should have those things on your mind always, right?

But in reality, answering “What do you want?” is often not that easy at all.

So…what do you want? Write it down. Give yourself space. Give yourself quiet. Even if you're busy and overstimulated and overworked and tired, you have ten minutes for this. Shorten your shower, skip a shower, whatever you need to do. Find those ten minutes where you can, then remove all of the judgments, the limits, the rationale, the logic,  the tales you've been told of why this stuff is impossible for you in your circumstances, all of it. I just want you to dream.  I just want you to write out what you want…and how you want to feel.

A lot of times we'll skip the feelings and go straight to the things, and we think that the things will give us the feelings, but that's not how it works.

So how do you want to feel, and what do you want? Write it all down.  Give yourself however much time that takes, then move on to…

How Do You Get From Where You Are to Where You Want to Be?

This is where the real brainstorming starts. We’ve answered “What do you want, and how do you want to feel?” and now we want to look at that list of wants and say, “Okay. Practically, this is where I am.  What do I need to do to get from where I am to where I want to be? What does that process realistically look like?”

Now, give yourself grace in this. It doesn't have to happen immediately. But you can identify what steps you need to take, as well as what skills, support, or tools you need.

If you want a bookkeeping business, but you only have some exposure or no exposure to bookkeeping, or you've only done it in a corporate setting, or you've only done taxes, you probably want to brush up on your skills.

If your skills are rock solid, you might just need support. That support could be mentorship. It could be something like my program, Life by the Books. It could be a community of people who've done what you want to do. It could also be a team.

After that, you can get into what tools you need.  That one's super easy, but everyone wants to skip straight to it.? You need to do quite a few things before you get to the tools.

Lastly, you need to ask yourself what the first step is that you can take to start pursuing that want.

You don't have to know all of the steps; you just need the first. Once you take that first step, you’ll have a better idea of step two, and then step three, and so on.

Also…make sure you actually take the step. Don't just sit there and know what step it is and then give yourself reasons why you can't take it or why you can't take it yet. The plan will unfold in front of you as you're actually taking it.

What Do I Want? To Hear From YOU!

If you enjoyed this exercise and asking yourself, “What do you want?” without judgment, please let me know! I always want to hear from you. I definitely want you to reach out and let me know if this was something you really needed to hear.

Instagram DMs are the best place to do that, and you can find the link to get to my Instagram below. Those messages mean a lot to me. Even if I’m busy when I’m reading DMs and I can only respond with a heart, I promise that I read it.

I love them. I read them. They matter. Please keep sending them!

EPISODE RESOURCES:

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Learn how to take your bookkeeping skills and turn them into a business that allows you to replace (or surpass) your corporate salary, be present for your life, and profoundly impact your clients without selling your life in the process by joining Life by the Books (LIBBY).

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